new yizzear
new year…in the middle of the term tho.
so not rlly a new year for anyone but adults. and adults dont really get anything anymore so nbd on that one right there
unfortunately it falls to us children to understand new years. but then again we can’t really comprehend what a new year will entail anyway, considering its in the middle of a school year already
which is cause for much confusion when asking “when did you go to school?”
the point is, yours truly, is quite interested in what the new year will entail. will it bring closer friends, more enemies, less friends, more drama, less drama, more work, even more work, no work, problems, solutions, economic hardship, a blue and yellow highlighter that mysteriously went missing from my pencil case, drugs, death, birth, british comedy coming back
and all sorts of general wonderings. the old year, or year previous to this one, was a turbulent one. yours truly became more angry, more sad, more happy, cried more times this year than he has in most of his life, laughed way to much, made to much fun, loved, lost, rejected, was rejected, danced, smoked, fought, sabotaged, undermined, complimented, lied, felt so disheartened and discouraged, was crushed, crushed others, became paranoid and fought it back again and again, gave advice, got advice, drank too much tea, sang, chanted, spun, acted, filmed, talked, conversed, met newer and newer people, met old friends who became new, promised and was promised, wrote, and wrote, and tumbled, and wrote some more, listened to music to a ridiculous degree, spoiled and was spoiled, felt appreciated and unappreciated, special and not so much, important then what time is it. saw more movies than any other year previous, and the list goes on and on and on.
2009 has been the weirdest, saddest, and best year of my life. What made it to be this way? Iunno, hormones, people, anger issues, guidance councilors? No one knows.
Significant moments are too many to list, and too important to write down. To do them justice would be to converse about them for soooooooo damn long it becomes a nightmare. I found out who I truly respect, who i have none for, and learned the important yet equally as horrible skill to be unafraid to speak my mind. Rather, I speak my mind and worry later how that would effect the other person, but oh well, no ones perfect. I went through so much emotion and feelings towards others its a wonder im still intact. A wonder my friendships are still intact.
A wonder my friendships are still intact indeed. So many people I pushed away, pulled closer, threw off a cliff, under a bus and away from a speeding car and all for my own reason, my own games, my own fun - if you will. Doesn’t make it fair to others, nor to me. Doesn’t make it right either. Just makes it true. Only thing I can really do is move forward and let people drop off or come back into my life as they please. Hopefully those still with me are enjoying the ride, no matter how fucked up it is. Not saying that my life is fucked up, far from it, just that the things i do are fucked up i spose. Teenagers have a beautiful tendency to play the “my life is more fucked up” game and its not much fun when you realize everyone is at about 100% fucked-upedness.
Yours truly did manage to tie someone down to his crotch for a couple months, and while it was fun, it was also horrible and shitty, sad and fearful AND MORE FUCKING WORDS I COULD WHIP OUT. How’d I do it i have no idea, apparently there is a certain charm about my nature which draws people in. Like a venus fly trap, smells so sweet to the fly until the mouth closes and the fly realizes that this is the end. Or maybe the fly doesn’t realize anything and is just chilling, but the venus fly trap realizes it and feels bad, but requires the fly for sustenance and therefore does not stop his devilish deed.
Then again these are plants and bugs and we are humans. We are 100% different and more advanced than the plants and bugs, right?
Anyway…2009…I digress…whatever…
let’s pretend its 2011 and we are looking backward to 2010 and forward to 2012
wouldn’t that be a weird transitional phase The day where 2011 begins, 2010 dies, and 2012 is just around the corner. First year university children all over are hurredly masturbating and fucking their last minutes away in order to start this year off with a BANGpregnancy.
well….not this year. For tonight, those blessed enough to be conscious for this night: we dine on coke, root beer, the occasional alcoholic beverage, perhaps some funtea and of course the wonderful diet of late night movies.
